НадПроф

НадПрофАнглийский

Менеджер — это тот, кто уменьшает неопределенность.


Что такое надпрофессиональное образование? — Это уменьшение лоховости во всем, что не касается непосредственно твоей профессии! Но и профессии тоже.

Буду делать хорошо и не буду лохом!


Неважно какие у тебя есть знания, умения и навыки — ну, да, желательно, чтобы их было побольше, их уровень повыше, а глубина поглубже — но! — важно как ты умеешь применять этот пакет имеющихся у тебя знаний, умений и навыков. Как применять этот пакет наиболее эффективно в проекте «твоя жизнь»? — в этом суть надпрофессионального образования.


Развитие современного общества и появление новых проблем, сопровождающих это развитие, делает ясным, что в 21-м веке потребуются не только эксперты по некоторым аспектам отдельных стадий сложных процессов (профессионалов в  старом понимании этого термина). Понадобятся специалисты по решению проблем.
Это означает, что истинные междисциплинарные исследования, основанные на теории сложности, будут в цене. А в университетах будут стараться учить не «предметам», а «стилям мышления».


КРЫЛЬЯ НАДПРОФА

        #23
#22  #21 
#20  #19 
#18  #17 
#16  #15
#14  #13 
#12  #11
#10  #9
#8    #7
#6    #5
#4    #3
#2    #1




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Humour and Limericks

What for does blonde buy cortains?

A blonde goes into a store that sells curtains. She tells the salesman, “I would like to buy a pair of pink curtains.” The salesman assured her that they had a large selection of pink curtains. He showed her several patterns, but the blonde seemed to be having a hard time choosing. Finally, she selects a lovely pink floral print. The salesman asked what size curtains she needed.
The blonde replies, “Fifteen inches.”
“Fifteen inches??”, asked the salesman, “that sounds very small. What room are they for?”
The blonde says, “Oh, they are not for any room — they are for my computer monitor.”
The surprised salesman replies, “But, Miss, computers do not have curtains.”
The blonde says, “Hellooooooooo — I've got Windows.”

What to do with all those “free” soaps when traveling

Dear Maid, please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please remove the six unopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest and another three in the shower soap dish. They are in my way. Thank you,

S. Berman

 

* * *

Dear Room 635, I am not your regular maid. She will be back tomorrow, Thursday, from her day off. I took the 3 hotel soaps out of the shower soap dish as you requested. The 6 bars on your shelf I took out of your way and put on top of your Kleenex dispenser in case you should change your mind. This leaves only the 3 bars I left today which my instructions from the management is to leave 3 soaps daily. I hope this is satisfactory.

Kathy, Relief Maid

 

* * *

Dear Maid — I hope you are my regular maid. Apparently Kathy did not tell you about my note to her concerning the little bars of soap. When I got back to my room this evening I found you had added 3 little Camays to the shelf under my medicine cabinet. I am going to be here in the hotel for two weeks and have brought my own bath-size Dial so I won't need those 6 little Camays which are on the shelf. They are in my way when shaving, brushing teeth, etc. Please remove them. 

S. Berman

 

* * *

Dear Mr. Berman, My day off was last Wed. so the relief maid left 3 hotel soaps which we are instructed by the management. I took the 6 soaps which were in your way on the shelf and put them in the soap dish where your Dial was. I put the Dial in the medicine cabinet for your convenience. I didn't remove the 3 complimentary soaps which are always placed inside the medicine cabinet for all new check-ins and which you did not object to when you checked in last Monday. Please let me know if I can of further assistance. Your regular maid,

Dotty

 

* * *

Dear Mr. Berman, The assistant manager, Kensedder, informed me this A.M. that you called him last evening and said you were unhappy with your maid service. I have assigned a new girl to your room. I hope you will accept my apologies for any past inconvenience. If you have any future complaints please contact me so I can give it my personal attention. Call extension 1108 between 8 AM and 5 PM. Thank you.

Elaine Carmen Housekeeper

 

* * *

Dear Miss Carmen, It is impossible to contact you by phone since I leave the hotel for business at 7:45 AM and don't get back before 5:30 or 6 PM. That's the reason I called Mr. Kensedder last night. You were already off duty. I only asked Mr. Kensedder if he could do anything about other 3 bars of hotel soap in my medicine cabinet along with her regular delivery of 3 bars on the bath-room shelf. In just 5 days here I have accumulated 24 little bars of soap. Why are you doing this to me?

S. Berman

 

* * *

Dear Mr. Berman, Your maid, Kathy, has been instructed to stop delivering soap to your room and remove the extra soaps. If I can be of further assistance, please call extension 1108 between 8 AM and 5 PM. Thank you,

Elaine Carmen, Housekeeper

 

* * *

Dear Mr. Kensedder, My bath-size Dial is missing. Every bar of soap was taken from my room including my own bath-size Dial. I came in late last night and had to call the bellhop to bring me 4 little Cashmere Bouquets.

S. Berman

 

* * *

Dear Mr. Berman, I have informed our housekeeper, Elaine Carmen, of your soap problem. I cannot understand why there was no soap in your room since our maids are instructed to leave 3 bars of soap each time they service a room. The situation will be rectified immediately. Please accept my apologies for the inconvenience.

Martin L. Kensedder Assistant Manager

 

* * *

Dear Mrs. Carmen, Who the hell left 54 little bars of Camay in my room? I came in last night and found 54 little bars of soap. I don't want 54 little bars of Camay. I want my one damn bar of bath-size Dial. Do you realize I have 54 bars of soap in here. All I want is my bath size Dial. Please give me back my bath-size Dial.

S. Berman

 

* * *

Dear Mr. Berman, You complained of too much soap in your room so I had them removed. Then you complained to Mr. Kensedder that all your soap was missing so I personally returned them. The 24 Camays which had been taken and the 3 Camays you are supposed to receive daily [sic]. I don't know anything about the 4 Cashmere Bouquets. Obviously your maid, Kathy, did not know I had returned your soaps so she also brought 24 Camays plus the 3 daily Camays. I don't know where you got the idea this hotel issues bath-size Dial. I was able to locate some bath-size Ivory which I left in your room.

Elaine Carmen Housekeeper

 

* * *

Dear Mrs. Carmen, Just a short note to bring you up-to-date on my latest soap inventory. As of today I possess:

— On shelf under medicine cabinet — 18 Camay in 4 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 2. — On Kleenex dispenser — 11 Camay in 2 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 3. — On bedroom dresser — 1 stack of 3 Cashmere Bouquet, 1 stack of 4 hotel-size Ivory, and 8 Camay in 2 stacks of 4. — Inside medicine cabinet — 14 Camay in 3 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 2. — In shower soap dish — 6 Camay, very moist. — On northeast corner of tub — 1 Cashmere Bouquet, slightly used. — On northwest corner of tub — 6 Camays in 2 stacks of 3.

Please ask Kathy when she services my room to make sure the stacks are neatly piled and dusted. Also, please advise her that stacks of more than 4 have a tendency to tip. May I suggest that my bedroom window sill is not in use and will make an excellent spot for future soap deliveries. One more item, I have purchased another bar of bath-sized Dial which I am keeping in the hotel vault in order to avoid further misunderstandings.

S. Berman

 

Why worry?

There are only two things to worry about:
Either you are well or you are sick.
If you are well, then there is nothing to worry about.
If you are sick, there are two things to worry about:
Either you will get well or you will die.
If you get well, then there is nothing to worry about.
If you die, there are only two things to worry about:
Either you will go to Heaven or Hell.
If you go to Heaven, there is nothing to worry about.
But if you go to Hell, you will be so damn busy
Shaking hands with friends, you won't have time to worry.

 

Whose job ...?

This is the story about four people named Everybody,
Somebody, Anybody and Nobody.
There was an important job to be done,
and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it.
Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it.
Somebody got angry about that
because it was Everybody's job.
Everybody thought Anybody could do it,
but Nobody realised that Everybody wouldn't do it.
It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody
When Nobody did what Anybody could have done.

 

* * *

Police Inspector: If a lion escaped from the zoo, what steps would you take?
Young Constable: Big ones, sir.

* * *

“Philip,” asked the chemistry teacher. “What is HNO3?” —“Oh, er ...just a minute, Miss, it's on the tip of my tongue...” — “Well, in that case, spit it out, it's nitric acid.”

* * *

Why don't skeletons play music in church? — Because they don't have any organs.

* * *

Weight Watchers will meet at 7 pm at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use double door at the side entrance.

(Comment: Weight Watchers — is a club for fat people, who want to loose weight, they collects together, measure their weight and appladause to those who lost some) :)))

* * *

Woman: Tell me, Des, how do you like your new school?
Des: Closed.

* * *

An Irishman telephoned the airport and asked, “How long does it take to fly to Ireland?” The receptionist on the phone said, “Just a minute,...” He said, “Thank you very much,” and put down the phone.

* * *

Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral or fattening.

Some of Murphy's Laws

Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate.

The chance of a piece of bread falling with the buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.

 


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